The Verdict Can Wait. The Acknowledgment Can’t.

The phone rings. I already know what it is about.

Last Tuesday. 5:40 p.m. My client just hung up. Three sentences were enough: the candidate didn’t convince. Wrong timing in his answers, lacked strategic vision, not the right fit. It’s a no. Seven minutes later, my phone rings. It’s the candidate. I pick up. And I hear that voice I know so well. Someone still running on adrenaline, still buzzing from what just happened.

“Pierre, honestly, I think it went well.”

He says it with pride. Relief. And I already know. I know it’s going to be a no. In the past (not so long ago), I would have told him the truth right there. Out of honesty. Out of respect. And I was right about the principle. But dead wrong about the timing.

Being honest is right. But maybe not right now.

Because that candidate, in that exact moment, wasn’t in rational mode. He was in emotional mode. He had just laid himself bare in front of strangers for an hour. He gave everything he had. The first thing he needed to hear wasn’t a verdict—it was acknowledgment. So here’s what I do now. I tell him I’m glad he went. That it took courage to show up. That I’m proud he defended his story. That being there mattered, regardless of what comes next. All of that is true. And I stop there. The next day, when the adrenaline has faded, I call back. And then we do the real debrief. Point by point. With honesty. With respect. But between two adults, in the calm.

In executive search, I see this pattern constantly:

• Recruiters deliver rejection feedback immediately after the decision.
• Candidates are still in emotional mode, unable to process criticism.
• The relationship suffers because timing overrides empathy.

It’s a common mistake. We think honesty is always the best policy. But honesty delivered at the wrong moment can feel like cruelty. The candidate needs to feel seen before they can hear the truth.

The two-call approach

In the modern workplace, I see this misconception constantly:

• Call One (Same Day) — Acknowledgment. “I’m glad you went. That took courage. I’m proud of how you defended your story.” True words. No verdict.
• Call Two (Next Day) — The real debrief. Point by point. With honesty. With respect. Between two adults, in the calm.
• The Outcome — Doesn’t change. But how someone absorbs a setback changes completely.

Smart recruiters know that delivery matters as much as the message itself.

My advice?

Pause before you deliver the verdict. Know your candidate’s emotional state.

Focus on preserving the relationship, not just closing the loop. Don’t rush the feedback. Give them space to process.

• If you feel like they’re still buzzing? Wait until tomorrow.
• If you’re tempted to be brutally honest immediately? Take a breath.
• And remember: Being honest is right. But maybe not right now.

Be careful here. Because the best recruiters aren’t the ones who deliver the fastest feedback—they’re the ones who deliver it in a way that preserves dignity. On the other side of that screen, there’s someone. And we don’t always know what they’re going through.

Being honest? Yes. Always. But maybe not always right now. 😊